Balancing motherhood isn’t easy. Throw a full-time job on top of it makes it even harder. There are so many emotions and opinions around a mom working full-time and letting “someone else” raise her kids…. but being a stay at home mom was just not for me. I tried being a stay at home mom for about four months, and I just couldn’t handle it mentally.
Why I chose to go back to work (from home I have to add) isnt’ just about bringing in income. It’s about personal fulfillment, and setting an example for both of my kids.
Let me also acknowledge that working whether from home or the office is oftentimes viewed as a privilege. You either have to have the additional income to send the kids to outside childcare (which is a privilege), or have a family member/friend to watch the kids (also another privilege).
1. Work Gives Me a Sense of Purpose Outside of Motherhood
Motherhood is all-consuming. With that however, I also have passions, talents, and dreams beyond parenting.
Working allows me to use my skills, grow professionally, and feel like me again—not just “Mommy.” Having a job helps me show up more present and fulfilled in both roles.
Even though I work from home, just getting to interact with other professional adults, and having a “say” in important company decisions fulfills my cup.
At work, I’m Lauren. My opinions matter. My voice matters.
After work, I’m mommy. My patience is better, I can give my whole self to my kids at the end of the day (no matter how tired I am) and we have such quality time spent.
2. My Additional Income Helps Supports My Family Financially
Let’s be honest- putting two kids in a daycare/preschool is EXPENSIVE. Even with a dual-income household. Thankfully, it made more sense financially that even with the cost of preschool, income-wise we were still coming out on top with me working.
My income doesn’t cover the bills by any means, but after preschool is taken out, my additional income helps with any additional household spending like groceries, any family trips, kids clothing, savings, etc.
I also get the personal gratification that I’m helping contribute to the household.
Some of my friends are the BEST stay at home moms and they (and I) love that for them. It works for their families. I personally like having my own income come in.
3. I’m Modeling Work Ethic and Independence for My Kids
I was raised by single mother, so I learned about a hard work ethic from a very young age. I watched my mom work two to three jobs at a time just to make ends meet all while covering my competitive cheerleading costs.
I want my daughter to know that she can do whatever she sets her mind to. If she wants to be a stay at home mom- she sure can do that. If she wants to work, be an astronaut, the president AND be a mom- she can also do that.
I want my son to respect a woman’s decision. He’ll know how hard women work and do it all. He should have a deeper empathy for women.
4. Mental Health and Self-Worth Matter
Working challenges my mind and fills my cup. When I take care of my mental and emotional well-being, I become a better, more patient mom.
I tried being a stay at home mom for the first four months of my kids life, and I just couldn’t do it. There was something that I was missing.
As soon as I started even LOOKING for a job, I started feeling a sense of self-worth that I couldn’t find in motherhood. As difficult as it is to balance both work and motherhood- I found a sense of belonging that I didn’t know that I could find.
5. Building Something Bigger for the Future
Even by creating this blog, I’m trying to create a legacy for my kids. I’m trying to show them that you can do anything you put your mind to. Creating extra income and setting my kids up for the future also helps.
And one day, I hope my kids look back and feel proud that I made choices that served both our family and my dreams.
